It was my heart’s deep desire to join my classmates on school trips, but it never happened. Why?
Well, my folks drilled into me that it was all a big "waste of time". Instead, they said, I should focus on my studies and rack up those A-pluses. So, there I was, chasing perfection to keep the parental pride-o-meter high—or at least to avoid those dreaded disappointed looks.
Growing older, I found myself doing a lot of stuff I wasn't really into, just to fit in with cultural and societal norms and expectations.
After years of meditation and self-reflection, I stood one day in the front of the mirror and asked myself “Who am I living this life for?”
Was I just trying to “fit in”, contorting myself to meet others’ expectations?
Or did I want to “belong”, be a part of a tribe where I was accepted for who I was. Where I could really connect with others, and where I was unique… where I was enough.
I made small changes in my perspective and actions that completely transformed me:
1. Self-reflection: took time to explore my values and what truly mattered to me
2. Setting boundaries: learned to say no to what didn’t align with my authentic self
3. Embracing vulnerability: shared my fears and dreams with the people I could trust
4. Cultivating supportive relationships: surrounded myself with people who lifted me up (not the haters)
5. Practicing self-compassion: loved and treated myself with kindness and understanding
6. Exploring my passions: went headlong into activities that just light me up from within
7. Celebrating my uniqueness: owned my quirks and let them shine my light to the world
8. Communicating authentically: spoke my truth, even if it felt uncomfortable at times
9. Connecting with nature: reconnected with myself through walks in nature or just moments of stillness
10. Seeking professional support: therapy and guidance gave me a different perspective and direction
So let’s not go through the motions and do “stuff” just for the benefit of other’s. Do what feels right for you.
You will start to enjoy your authentic self and with it bring a sense of belonging!
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